Fallow ground is ground which has once been tilled, but has gotten hard and now lies waste. It needs to be broken up and made soft again, before it is ready to receive seed. If you mean to break up the fallow ground of your heart, you must begin by looking at your heart — examine carefully the state of your mind and see where you are.

Self-examination consists of looking at your life, considering your motives and actions... calling up your past and seeing its true character. Look back over your past history. Take up your individual sins one by one, and look at them. This doesn’t mean that you just take a casual glance at your past life, see that it has been full of sin, and then go to God and make a sort of general confession, asking forgiveness. General confessions of sin are not good enough. Your sins were committed one by one; and as much as you are able, they ought to be reviewed and repented of one by one. It’s a good idea to take a pen and some paper as you go over them, and write them down as they come to mind.

3) Neglect of the Bible: Put down the cases where for perhaps weeks or longer, God’s Word was not a pleasure to you. Some people, indeed, read over whole chapters in such a way that afterwards they could not tell you what they had been reading. If that is so with you, no wonder your life has no direction, and your relationship with God is in such a miserable state.

4) Unbelief: Recall the instances in which you have virtually charged the God of truth with lying, by your unbelief of His express promises and declarations. If you have not believed or expected to receive the blessings which God has clearly promised, you have called Him a liar.

5) Lack of Prayer: Think of all the times you have neglected private prayer, family prayer, and group prayer meetings; or you’ve prayed in such a way as to grieve and offend God more than if you hadn’t prayed at all.

6) Neglect of Fellowship: When you have allowed yourself to make small and foolish excuses that have prevented you from attending meetings. When you have neglected and poured contempt upon the gathering of the saints merely because you "didn’t like Church!"

7) Casualness in Spiritual Duties: Think of all the times when you have spoken about God with such a lack of feeling and faith, in such a worldly frame of mind, that your words were nothing more than the mere chattering of a wretch who didn’t deserve that God should listen to him at all. When you have fallen down upon your knees and "said your prayers" in such an unfeeling and careless way that if you had been put under oath five minutes later, you could not say what you had been praying for.

8) Lack of love for Souls: Look around at all your friends and relatives, and think of how little compassion you have felt for them. You have stood by and seen them going straight to hell, and it seems as though you didn’t even care! How many days have there been when you have failed to make their wretched condition the subject of even one single fervent prayer, or to prove any real desire for their salvation?

9) Indifference towards the Lost: Perhaps you have not cared enough about them to even attempt to learn of their condition. Do you avoid missions magazines? How much do you really know or care about the unconverted masses of the world? Measure your desire for their salvation by the self-denial you practice in giving from your substance to send them the Gospel.

10) Lack of concern for the Poor: Do you defend your standard of living? Will you not suffer yourself any inconvenience to save them? Do you daily pray for them in private? Are you setting aside funds to put into the treasury of the Lord when you go up to pray? (As in the story of the widow’s mite, Mark 12:41-44.) If your soul is not agonized for the poor and lost of this world, then why are you such a hypocrite as to pretend to be a Christian? (See Mt 25:31-46).

11) Neglect of Family Duties: Think of how you have lived before your family, how you have prayed, what an example you have set before them. What direct efforts do you habitually make for their spiritual welfare?

12) Neglect to care for Believers: How often have you broken your covenant that you would watch over them in the Lord? How little do you know or care about the state of their souls? And yet you are under a solemn duty to watch over them. What have you done to get to know them better? How many times have you seen them falling into sin, and you let them go on? And you pretend to love them? Would you watch your wife or child going into disgrace, or falling into a fire, and hold your peace?

13) Lack of Self-Denial: There are many professing Christians who are willing to do almost anything in religion that does not require self-denial. They think they are doing a great deal for God, and doing about as much as He ought to reasonably ask, but they are not willing to deny themselves any comfort or convenience whatsoever for the sake of serving the Lord. They will not willingly suffer reproach for the name of Christ. Nor will they deny themselves the luxuries of life to save a world from hell. They are so far from realizing that self-denial is a condition of discipleship, that they do not even know what it is! They have never really denied themselves a ribbon or a pin for Christ and the Gospel. Some are giving from their abundance, and giving a lot — and will even complain that others do not give more — when in truth, they are not giving anything that they need, or anything that they would enjoy if they kept it. They only give from their surplus wealth!

1) Love of Things: What has been the state of your heart concerning your earthly possessions? Have you looked at them as really yours — as if you had a right to use or dispose of them as your own? If you have, write it down! If you have loved property and sought after it for its own sake, or to gratify ambition, you have sinned and must repent.

2) Vanity: How many times have you spent more time docorating your body to go to Church, than you have in preparing your heart and mind for the worship of God? You have cared more about how you appeared outwardly to men than how your soul appeared in the sight of God. You sought to divide the worship of God’s house, to draw off the attention of God’s people, to look at your pretty appearance. And you pretend that you do not care anything about having people look at you? Be honest about it! Would you take all this pain about your looks if every person were blind?

3) Envy: Look at the cases in which you were jealous of those who were in a higher position than you. Or perhaps you have envied those who have been more talented or more useful than yourself. Have you not so envied some, that it has caused you pain to hear them praised? It has pleased you more to dwell upon their faults than upon their virtues ... upon their failures rather than their successes. Be honest with yourself, and if you have harbored this spirit of hell, then repent deeply before God.

4) Bitterness: Recall all the instances in which you have harbored a grudge or a bitter spirit toward someone, or have spoken of Christians in a manner completely devoid of charity and love. Love "hopes all things," but you have given no benefit of doubt, and have suspected the worst.

5) Slander (Gossip): Think of all the times you have spoken behind people’s backs of their faults (real or supposed) unnecessarily and without cause. This is slander. You need not lie to be guilty of slander — to tell the truth with the intent to injure is slander.

6) Levity (Excessive humour): How often have you joked before God, as you would not have dared in the presence of an earthly dignitary or important official. You have either been an atheist and forgotten that God existed — or you have had less respect for Him and His presence than you would have had for a mere judge on earth.

7) Lying: Now understand what lying is. Any form of designed deception is lying. If you purpose to make an impression other than the naked truth, you lie. Put down all those cases you can recollect. Do not call them by any soft names. God calls them lies and charges you with lying, so you’d better charge yourself correctly! Think of all your words, looks, and actions designed to make an impression on others contrary to the truth, for selfish reasons.

8) Cheating: Set down all the cases where you have dealt with anyone in a way you yourself would not like at all. That is cheating. God has said that we should treat all men in the same manner we would like to be treated (Mt 7:12). That is the rule. And if you have not done so you are a cheat! God did not say that you should do what you would expect them to do, for if that were the rule it would allow for all kinds of wickedness in our actions. But it says, do what you would want them to do to you! Have you cheated the government?

9) Hypocrisy: For instance, in your prayers and confessions to God, set down all the times in which you have prayed for things you didn’t really want. How many times have you confessed sins that you never intended to stop doing? Yes, you have confessed sins when you knew in your heart you as much expected to go and repeat them, as you expected to live!

10) Robbing God: Think of all the instances in which you have totally misspent your time, squandering the hours which God gave you to serve Him, and save souls. Precious time wasted in vain amusement or worthless conversation, in reading worldly novels, or even doing nothing; cases where you have misused your talents and ability to think. Think of how you have squandered God’s money on your lusts, or spent it for things which you really didn’t need, which did not contribute to your health, comfort, or usefulness.

11) Bad Temper: Perhaps you have abused your wife, or your children, or your family, or employees, or neighbours. Write it all down!

12) Hindering others from being useful: You have not only robbed God of your own talents, but tied the hands of somebody else. What a wicked servant is he who not only is useless himself, but hinders the rest! This is done sometimes by taking their time needlessly. Thus you have played into the hands of Satan, and not only proved yourself to be an idle vagabond, but prevented others from working also.

1) If you find you have committed a fault against anyone, and that person is within your reach, go and confess it immediately and get that out of the way. If they are too far away for you to go and see them, sit down and write them a letter (or better yet call them), confessing the injury you have committed against them. If you have defrauded anybody, send the money — the full amount and the interest.

2) As you go over the catalogue of your sins, be sure to resolve upon immediate and entire re- formation. Wherever you find anything wrong, commit yourself at once, in the strength of God, to sin no more in that way. It will be of no benefit to examine yourself unless you determine to change, in every aspect, that which you find wrong in heart, temper, or conduct.

3) Go thoroughly to work in all this! Go now! Do not put it off — that will only make matters worse. Confess to God those sins that have been committed against God, and to man those sins that have been committed against man. Do not think about getting off easy by going around the stumbling blocks. Take them up out of the way.

Unless you take up your sins in this way, and consider them in detail, one by one, you can form no idea of the amount or weight of them. You should go over the list as thoroughly and as carefully and as solemnly as if you were preparing yourself for the Judgment! (1 Cor 11:31).

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I will tell folks there is no life after death so they may enjoy life to the maximum as they please.

I will advocate the theory that all religions are the same and what is necessary is just to be sincere to what one believes.

I will encourage preachers to preach more, study less and pray even less.

I will whisper in the ears of seekers in every Gospel meeting that they are too sinful to be saved.

I will discourage those who try to live a victorious life that Christianity is too difficult to be practised in the modern society.

I will discourage evangelists from speaking about sin, judgment and hell, and I will urge them to be more "positive" in their message.

I will tell the students in theological seminaries that the Bible is just a jumbled up history and it cannot be called the Word of God.

I will attend every missionary convention to tell young people not to consider investing their lives in the missionary career because who can ever save this world.

I will cause as many splits as possible in the Church and convince the leader of each split that after all he has stood for truth.

I will tell people there is no literal heaven or hell but it’s all an imagination which religion employs to win and keep adherents.

I will encourage folks to earn and save as much money as they can because money is everything.

I will drive young people to enjoy free sex before marriage because the society would restrict them after marriage and they would not be so young either.

I will tell Christians that missionaries like David Livingstone, C. T. Studd and Hudson Taylor were fanatics and people should not waste their time reading such biographies.

I will tell backsliders there is no point trying again.

I will suggest folks in problems to commit suicide because that’s the easiest way out and after all there is nothing after death.

I will teach parents not to influence their children with Bible teaching but let them choose what they want when they grow.

I will tell people that there is nothing wrong in occasional smoking or drinking and trying drugs.

I will encourage churches to do more of social work than preaching the Gospel because what is the point in talking about a life after death when there is not enough bread for life today.

I will entice preachers to spend lavishly on diet, dress and dwelling because, Are they not serving the King?

I will suggest that baptism in water is after all an outward ceremony and so not necessary.

I will tell Christians that the days of miracles and martyrdom are past and so they should not expect or attempt great things.

I will impress on earnest Christians that we don’t have apostles or prophets today and the gift of tongues and several other gifts have ceased.

I will teach believers that no one is perfect and it is only natural to fall into sin and any effort to live holy is not worth it.

I will frustrate missionaries with fruitless fields and suggest they better return or go to a seminary to earn one more degree which might help.

I will tell parents that family prayer and such things are old time practices which are not at all relevant today and they will do better if they let the children watch the "harmless" TV programmes to improve their general knowledge even if the telecast is during the Sunday School hour.

I will lead pastors to put in more cultural programmes and entertainment in the Church services to attract people.

I will sit in every committee meeting to prompt the members into endless and prayerless discussions.

I will keep ministers too busy all through the year with travel and programmes to find any time for their personal devotions and family.

l will dissuade people from believing that Christ is coming again and promise them that the world would continue to be as ever.

I will keep on devising new schemes to thwart the purposes of God who threw me out!

An Update by Dr. Mrs. Lilian Stanley

The Feed Orissa relief work was started in August 2001 with the view to help poor TB patients, starving and homeless. By the immeasurable grace of God we look back at the end of 2 years and 8 months and give glory to God for the great things He has done.

Tuberculosis has reached epidemic proportions here in the Diptipur area of Bargarh District. There are families with as many as five members suffering from TB. The reason is poverty and malnutrition. They sell their properties and lose all in the treatment within one or two months. Then due to financial constraint they stop the treatment. Some go to the Government Hospitals and consume two drugs. They feel a little better but become resistant to further treatment. So far 250 TB patients have completed treatment with us. The results are excellent for those who come to us straight. For those who have discontinued treatment for various reasons and come to us for help the results are not so good.

Five Hundred poor receive rice and dal. Most of these are TB patients, destitutes, handicapped or the starving. All these people have picked up health and sometimes we hardly recognise them! 54 students have received help for education. 80 goats have been distributed. 123 homeless families were provided a small house. It is pathetic to see people living under polythene sheets, huddling in neighbours’ verandas with no place to call their own. 20 have received loan to do business. 125 children receive regular teaching through our Kids Clubs in five villages. Some are very strong in their new-found faith. In one village the children refuse to sing to idols in their School prayer. They are ready to sing only Christian songs. They are paying a price for their faith.

3250 patients were seen in Asish Sebasadan in the past one year. Old new and warm clothes were distributed. Four Sevaks (men volunteers) reach out to surrounding villages. One of them was earlier an evangelist who took to selling vegetables because of poverty. With our help now he is enthusiastically evangelising. Five Sevikas (women volunteers) minister in villages systematically. Three of them are illiterate who are learning to read and write through our Adult Education Classes. Sevaks and Sevikas are doing a wonderful job. In one village about forty gather in the local Club to listen to them, in another village in the School. They minister in 36 villages regularly.

Six helpers work in the office. Two have received driving training. Nine girls were sent to Balasore for training in computer and sewing. Ten revival meetings were conducted through which many found Christ and received the Holy Spirit. Three Church buildings were renovated. Three poor tailors were given sewing machines. We were called thrice to the police station and chided. Thrice we were threatened to be defamed by a newspaper. Subsequently the District Collector visited us and commended our service. The Governor’s wife gave us interview. The persecution in Orissa is mounting up. Even now we keep receiving threats from various quarters. God is keeping us.

Dr. Prabhakar Moses, Dr. Winsley and Anu Rose from CMC, Vellore visited us and we conducted a paediatric camp. Dr. Isaac Jebaraj, Dr. Sampath Karl from CMC, Vellore, Dr. Matthew Samuel from Oddanchatram and Dr. Gnanamani from Nagercoil came for a medical and surgical camp. Many poor were benefitted through these camps. Dr. Berty Chandran collected vaccines and came and vaccinated 10,000 domestic birds. Birds dying in the epidemic were saved.

God kept us from accidents, snakes, scorpions and deadly diseases. The most thrilling of all is many of our contacts have started to believe on the living God. Some of our TB patients and contacts have been born again. In the recent Seekers Meet over 50 committed their lives to Christ. We celebrated Christmas 2003 in 17 villages.

During the August 2003 floods many villages in Bargarh District were inundated. We built 66 houses for those rendered homeless in two villages. The hailstorm of January 2004 destroyed about 1000 houses of the poor. We chose one village, Negimunda, and built eleven houses for the victims.

We were able to buy a Hero Honda two wheeler with your help last year. This has facilitated our work very much. Our four bicycles are used by Sevaks for outreach. The project is still going strong. The poor here thank every one of you as Heaven records your names up there. For whatever is happening here we give credit to you and glory to God. We request your continued support in the days to come.

Joseph Stalin observed, "The death of a million people is a statistics, but the death of a single person is a tragedy!" Surely if the death of a single person is a tragedy, then the rescue of a single life is a triumph and a triumph worth celebrating!

(Money Orders, Cheques and Bank Drafts may be sent in favour of and to BLESSING YOUTH MISSION, Church Colony, Vellore 632006. Any Relief Material may be sent by SRMT or TCI Lorry Service to the town namely Bargarh in Orissa and the waybill to Mr. Philip Bishoyi, Asish Sebasadan, Diptipur 768 035. Thank you!)

The ministerial activities of Tamilnadu and Kerala are recognised under BYM Southern Region. Here’s a brief report for your prayers.

Presently the Southern region is the main support base of BYM ministries at national level. Major part of prayer and financial support of the mission is shouldered by Christians of Tamilnadu and Kerala. Laypeople play a vital role to support the ministry by conducting weekly missionary prayer cells, monthly fasting prayers and by collecting offerings donated by wellwishers. The missionary vision is passed on to the passive Christians by visiting Churches with books and audiotapes and also conducting revival camps.

Laypeople who are interested to witness missionary work are taken in teams to visit mission fields for a few days. By these trips the visitors get firsthand information and exposure of real missionary work, and our missionaries are also encouraged. Brother A. Suthanthirasingh coordinates the work in Tamilnadu and Mr. S. Wilson does the same in Kerala. We praise God for the dedicated services of these friends.

Students and youth are the main focus of BYM ministry. The BYM conducts annual camps for boys and girls separately in alternate years. Approximately 1500 youth participate in ‘Halo’ and ‘Aroma’ camps every year. They are spiritually guided for holy and witnessing life. Bible Study Programmes, Leadership Training and Students Missionary Programmes are conducted according to the need every year. Prayer cells are formed by students of many educational institutions. They are given shepherding care by our layleaders. Students who are brought up by this SFJ ministry are serving as tentmaking missionaries all over India and also abroad.

In the Southern region the BYM is working among ‘Malayalee’ and ‘Lambadi’ tribes who live in Sitteri Hills, Chitling Valley and Aranoothu Hills situated in Dharmapuri and Salem districts. By the grace of God and by the sacrificial labour of our missionaries for the past 28 years we now have a few hundred converts and also Churches established in 11 villages. All the expenditure pertaining to building construction, music system, furniture of most of the Churches are sponsored by Christian friends of Tamilnadu. Our missionaries in all the above villages are keen in establishing new Churches and also raising more native workers.

Proper pastoral care is given to the converts by the missionaries. A centralised annual camp is conducted for the converts of all the 11 villages at Sitteri Blessing Centre every year. Partners of Tamilnadu conduct this camp. They share the message, give them gifts and encourage them every year. Vacation Bible School is conducted for the tribal children.

We run an Elementary School named "Blessing School" for the tribal children by providing free lunch and free education. Now 250 children are getting education at Sitteri Hills. We run a Girls Home in which 30 children are studying in a nearby Government School. Recently a voluntary organisation named Indienhilfe has come forward to assist us in this project.

We have Primary Health Centres in Alagur and Sitteri Hills. We provide free medical aid to the villagers live nearby. We offer medical check up, and vaccination camps are conducted with the help of Christian doctors. Day Care Centres have also been opened to provide nutritious food to children below 5 years. In a few places we conduct classes for illiterate adults to read and write. Importance of personal hygiene and prevention of diseases are also taught.

A small agricultural farm has also been developed with the primary aim of providing job opportunities for tribal believers. They start their morning work after spending time in prayer and worship. Self-support is encouraged by teaching them stitching, doll-making, etc.

Thank you for standing with us in this endeavour!